7 Levels of my Hell

Christopher Cornell, YOU not only robbed your fucking daughter but you robbed the rest of the world of your voice. You were just as fucked up as up but YOU gave up.  You denied the world of of your gift. NONE of that matters, you killed yourself while you had children. EVER hear this I don't even want to hear your music that I so much love because you fucking killed yourself, and in fact killed your own daughter in the process. I wanted to be that coward that stabbed, hung, strangled myself but I didn't. You not only ruined MY world (which does not mean shit) but you ruined her. You selfish cunt. I don't care how the weight of your brilliance crippled you.  YOU had children, at that point your life isn't yours. I LOVE everything you wrote but I fucking hate what you've done. If I see you on the other side I'm going to make sure you suffer for what you've done to her. You have no idea how many times I've wanted to kill myself. I FUCKING gu

I write for myself. At this point I don't wan't either the acknowledgement or feedback.  Yes there was a point I wanted the world to listen and I fell back into the shadows from once I witch came. FIRST of all: ALL lives matter including black lives and I've done nothing but to support their cause because after all enough is really FUCKING enough. I currently live in a neighborhood that still regularly when their in the prescience of a black person they jump right to that fucking word.  Redneck's.....you bet your fucking ass they are. Ignorant, and most of the time the spawn of inbreeding these are the...."things" I live with because I'll never call them a person. I FUCKING hate that word.  Not because I have three kids, nieces and a nephew that are bi-racial but I had a black man tattooed on my arm on my 16th birthday. And yet, it seems, you can't even have a "how's the weather" conversation with one of them before they drop that fuck

I remember the first tine I ever said that word. It was at the park, where we played basketball  almost ever day.. Fuck I lost so much weight during that summer. Because of Melissa destroying my heart, it wasn't her fault, it was mine. She was really a fucking amazing girlfriend, I WAS THE DICKHEAD. That's why I lost her. It'd my own fault, and I'm sorry missy, "mudame.' You were the best thing  that ever happened to me. Thank you for the experience. I said it and it never tasted good. BUT  it tasted good. I still try to remind myself that that word is so fucking hateful but yet......I still say it. I guess it's like the word "fag." is so misdirected. I'm not "a fag" but I''d do anything to protect their rights. Aren't we one? In the end, we're all fucked, right? Why hate when we have so little time? LOVE is the ONLY answer.  Do you feel t??? If not not even Karma can't save you....... T

I bet my life you can't do more than me.  Prove me wrong.

I'm never FUCKING ever going to five up on either one of them. I love my children more than I love myself. But I' apparently made to make a a choice.  #Mistake#1 I'm going to save them both regardless I die trying. I will gladly give up on anything I believe in just as long as I know that they're okay. I'll never see them again, or even talk to them again and that's MY fault. I love you babies with every FUCKING thing that matters to me.  You're it. Robert, be the man I KNOW you are. Abbi, speak up and tell the world what they've done to you. THEN, my purpose was fulfilled. I love you both 3000.

You both finally broke me. You wanted to make me crazy. Congrats you've done it. I have NOTHING left. You've completed your mission..EVERYTHING that's ever mattered to me. I'm already dead you've taken everything from me. You've  won. I conceive. Protect my son you fucking cunt.  I don't care about money, I care about HIM.  YOU DON"T. I FUCKING LOVE MY SON, YOU DON'T. You self indulgent fucking CUNT you are. I Raised him I taught him every fucking thing. That's my boy, my fucking son. YOU will burn one day.