Why don't I care anymore? What do I have to lose? I've already lost everything. I have a house, a car, credit and money in the bank.  I have $35,000 at least from my house, $80.000 in settlement and I don't fucking care.

Money.  how we fight to maintain some monetary savings and it all means nothing.  He who dies with the most toys still dies.

I went after everyone. Every MOTHERFUCKER that refused to help save my daughter.  The only outcome was losing my son.  I will NEVER recover from giving him up.  Regardless if he understands it or not I fought the hardest I've ever have just to be apart of his life.  The joke is before he turned 3 I get the phone call "I can't handle him anymore you need to take him."

My FIRST reply is "when."

Then, on his 13th birthday "welcome to being a teenager" he gets removed from the ONLY home he's ever known.

That's the day I truly died.

I thought I died when I buried myself with my daughter in Yiwu, I was wrong.

Not speaking to my son again is the reason I'll never be the same.

Robert, my love, I'm so sorry.  I failed not just you but everyone I've ever cared about.

I have no family. I have no friends. I have nothing. The only thing I had was you then the limited time we spent with your sister.

I failed you as a father and I'm sorry.  If you want to blame me for any problems you have in your future fine.  If you do drugs, do stupid shit or the worst of offenses kill yourself I will MOTHERFUCKING HAUNT YOU until the end of the Earth.

Be the best part of me and make a difference.  Change the world.  I dreamed  of you before you were ever born.

I love you both infinity.

Be a better man than I and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the world.

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