Death and Rebirth

My sons therapist I also see for advice and direction how to help him told me "You have to treat the loss of your daughter as though she died until she comes home."

It wasn't until the 3rd or 4th day in China, in Yiwu did I accept this because I found a place of immense beauty that was some sort of shrine or self-reflection spot.  It had a lot of greenery, flowers, a pond that's filled with Koi and a bridge that travels over it to admire them.

This is where I decided to say goodbye to Abbi.

I sat for a good while struggling to walk away from this spot knowing I've left half of my still functional heart and soul here at a place I'll most likely never find again even with infinite time and resources.

I couldn't leave, wouldn't leave until I decided that I was going to join my love, my Supergirl and that's when Christopher died and Kiso was born.

On a side note I found a fitting dumpster to lay to rest M & N and it took every ounce of me to not leave D there to rot with the rest of the garbage despite owning their part in these two funerals.

D, I KNOW because I set the world on fire you couldn't afford to lose your job.  After the 2nd year of trying to help my daughter "if you wouldn't help me, you were my enemy" and I went AFTER YOU. I made your life fucking hell, then whoever's above you I made THEIR life hell.  I didn't care. Come after me, TRY to find something then perhaps you'll see the truth and help my daughter.

That's why I still deeply love you sis.

I'll NEVER forgive you but will always love you.