Day 3: Shanghai to Yiwu to become a....Rockstar?

Around 9:00 AM we meet in the lobby of the 5th floor and we descent with our luggage to a taxi.  Before we gathered I decided to cut my baggage in half and leave a suitcase and its contents in the room. I went to the rescue mission before the trip and bought all sorts of clothes that I wasn't sure if my travels would require me to wear.

So at least now I've cut down what I have to drag by 50% but little was removed from my backpack that had to weigh at least 20-30 lbs filled with mostly useless shit.

We get the taxi and head to the subway to head to the Monorail.  Dave buys us all First Class tickets on the Monorail which was 130 RMB each, just under $19.00.  Difference from coach is more room, cleaner bathroom and you're given a choice of bottled water or a juice box that resembles Hi-C and a prepackaged box that has some snacks inside.  Most notably is the "Braised Duck Gizzard" in a vacuum sealed package.

Yiwu (EEE-Woo) is 2,000 miles South-West of Shanghai and about an hour of total travel time via the Monorail when factoring in the several stops it makes along the route.  The whole ride Shirley and Dave are trying to explain the city in a way that I would be able to comprehend it.  They meant no offence by it but considering what I was about to enter they wanted to be sure I was prepared best they could.

20 minute taxi ride later and we arrive in Yiwu and I cannot even express the astonishment I experience.  Buried deep in China past metropolis city after city that the flat landscape allows you to see stretches far past the line of sight is Yiwu.

95% of every single thing made/sold in the world passes through Yiwu in one form or another.  They've told me about the Yiwu Market but even after seeing it my mind couldn't register it.  4 floors 99% all indoors covers 60 million square feet.  That's SIXTY MILLION SQUARE FEET.  That's the size of more than 30 Metlife Stadiums (Jets/Giants). 

When we arrived we stayed at a place that Dave and Shirley frequent often. They staff know them by name.  The English of the staff is beyond impressive from how many people could communicate effectively to how well some could speak.  Not only that but you've seen it all when you see a 100% Chinese National speak fluent Arabic.  This is because there is a huge Arab, South American, Russian and others I cannot recall that reside inside the city going back hundreds of years.

Dave and Shirley point out where the shopping center is (I mean it's right outside our hotel you can't miss it.) Later I'd appreciate their efforts to have me mentally picture where I would be entering at what door # (27 I think) and to make sure I make my way back to that door.

Takes about 10 minutes to get to the entrance after a couple of streets, through an indoor but only for a roof strip mall, over the 10 lane highway (5/5). I'm already exhausted, sweating profusely and regretting carrying this heavy ass bookbag in fear of leaving my stuff which again, really was completely worthless but I had trust issues with the staff which looking back now is so not a concern if you're staying at the right places.

I enter the mall...well I enter one of the mall's mall.  I take note of the provided map but I cannot wrap my head around it. It's just so massive in every way I couldn't get my bearings at all.  Imagine being at the center of two hallways that intersect.  Each direction is fucking ENDLESS to sight. These cubicles all just about the same exact size are about 15X20 and stuffed with the product they are selling.  And by product is mean one single product.

Stores that only sell umbrellas, saw blades, hula-hoops, and so on.  I saw in a row of at least 20 stores all selling umbrellas.  They were all the same universal size but each store had a unique design on it. I was lost the moment I stepped foot into that place.  Twice, TWICE I ended up back at the same entrance with the intentions to travel to the next building through the 2nd story connection which some were short, some were long but all were also lined with stores until you entered the next building. This place is so massive that it stretches over public roads and two or three times travels over a 10 lane highway.

I'm trying to first locate the toy area because I'm excited to see the retail boxes of the China clone minifigures I collect hoping to perhaps grab a bunch to bring back. What I didn't realize is everything is done with WeChat for almost every store. Also, most stores were only showing what they have available to purchase. It's ONLY a showroom. Business conducted here in these little itty bitty glorified vanity-closet do business on such a level that they don't need the profit margin from marking up retail items but have learned that it's more profitable to sell as a distributor or in cargo shipping container quantities and the demand is so high that everyone is doing it.

So after maybe 3 hours of being lost in this land of Oz I depart from the central welcoming center of the center.  I knew I could see it from my hotel and tried to remember the positions of the buildings behind it. It didn't matter, this city is so massive it was far too much to retain with watching everything else going on.

After about an hour of walking street by street I decide to say fuck it, I'm exhausted, I've sweat so much the last two days and today was by far the worst I step to the corner and a taxi pulls up seconds later.  It's 8 RMB minium ($1.17) for the first mile.  I get in the front because that's how you ride in a taxi in China.

Guy drives 2 blocks to the hotel.  Awesome.......

Dave and Shirley are in the lobby meeting with their supplier for these new pants they are having made.  Pants are called "The General" and are being marketed directly to military forces with hopes to snag a contract with the US.  They sport a 3-Star Military logo where you'd normally see Levi's which complements the name.

They are definitely nice pants and made from a very cool new era material I know nothing about and have accessories that are very innovative. Dave calls me over to say hello. There's a stack of business......shit everywhere at this table overlooking the city. Dave introduces me to his manufacturer and I grab a seat and watch.  That's when I'm shocked to see an Chinese man speaking Arabic but again in this city everyone can communicate with everyone, it's fucking fascinating.  Shit, even the buildings have Arabic and other languages (including English) on them.

Dave tells us we're going to go to dinner so wash up and come back down to the lobby.  I took a much needed hot shower. Not something I'm a fan of but my body was so sore and the ibuprofen wasn't doing a thing at this point but I was excited because after dinner they were going to show me the "Night Market."

We go to eat at Dave's favorite place in Yiwu. It's an Arabic restaurant and offer a menu and buffet to pick items for the table. Their culture pretty much everything on the table is up for grabs.  Sure you order what you want but it's because you want to taste it during the meal only as chances are it won't last long. It had a strong feeling of family to it, I can't explain it.

They start with the traditional giant bread(ish) toasted sheet served with hummus. Now I've tried hummus in the US and each time it nauseated me. Just something about it. This I can tell you tasted nothing like the shit you buy at any supermarket here.  It was fucking awesome.  The bread didn't last long and the meal was starting to be delivered to the table which Dave ordered a FUCK TON of things.

Everything I ate which as little as I could eat I made sure I had at least a sample of everything, some things 3rds. It really was fantastic, everything was unique and targeted tastebuds I didn't know existed.

After dinner and further discussion about the production of the pants Dave heads us down to the night market. He's helping me locate a pair of shoes that I can wear for 25 RMB ($3.65 US) because he knows the prices of things here and how the "system" works.

If you want it, in Yiwu you can get it. It blows the "idea of China" America has out of the universe.

EVERYTHING is a negotiation in China. If you walk up and pay the asking price (unless it's cigarettes or alcohol) they consider you a fool and will always take advantage of you without hesitation or even thought.

I'll say it again, it's NOT personal. It's a way of life.

Finding any male US shoe size bigger than a 12 is damn near impossible. We walked a lot of the Night Market looking at random items but mainly stopping at every store that sold shoes asking if they had size 47 (EUR size since people don't immediately know the US equivalency in shoe size to China.  Which if you're wondering I wear a size 295 CHN (12 1/2 US)

I needed shoes BADLY.  I thought it was smart to wear my steel-toed black restaurant shoe to China. These things weigh a good 5 lbs each and were nothing but anchors most of my trip and through at least 30 miles of walking.

Now it's been 5 days since I've drank one of my Code Red: Mountian Dew 2 liters like it was a 20 oz.  The only thing I've been putting into my body is a very limited amount of food as I'd lost my appetite since my experience my first day in PuDong and the church.  Even at the time of this writing I still can't process what I felt and what I experienced. I'm still going over the "reels" and trying to acknowledge everything that's transpiring.

So I've eaten little substance but quality food. Drank at least 50 bottles of water, sweat 20 gallons and walked 30 miles all while carrying a backpack filled with garbage and much of the time carting my carry-on sized suitcase which was stuffed with heavy jeans.

This paid off in many ways most important at the time to me was that no longer did my size 38's fit as they fell right off. The 36's did the same.  But the "just incase" pair of 34's I stored fit like a glove.  I was able to toss an additional 6 pair of jeans from my bane of an existence of unimportant shit.

During our walk this is when Dave explains to me the importance, the significance of "image" in Yiwu (and all of China for that matter).  If you're not perceived as important you're not. If you look important, you are.  That simple. The more you have the more notoriety you have. This is the center of the world for business so understandably I made sure to observe and understand.

The whole trip I was given advice I should have been forced to pay thousands for. These two are millionaires who explained their business, explained what I could do just to make money easy if I want to travel to China and most importantly introduced me to contacts, people and companies most CEO's would dream of to experience.

We meet up with some of Dave and Shirley's friends at a karaoke bar.  Something about Asians and even apparently the Chinese is they LOVE to get shitfaced and sing american songs.  This place is packed.  I mean fucking packed, and it's HUGE.

It's beautiful. It's the most elegant, sophisticated and architecturally beautiful bar I've ever been in. There has to be over 2,000 people inside the three stories of this place with a center stage the brave men and women of China take the mic and sing to their hearts extent to a crowd that's very supportive and having fun.

Now this is where Dave totally fuckes with me and it's brilliant.  That's what I miss most about him is his sense of humor.  So fucking quick, funny and "with it."  FUCK he's brilliant....

Because I've been sweating so bad espically having a shaved head I was just a glistening wet ballsack walking being seen for miles in every direction over a sea of little black hair mounts bouncing about.

Sweating in China is NOT a good thing. I don't remember the details but it's very frowned upon so I had a bunch of my bandanna's with me to keep the sweat out of my eyes but realized quickly they would be something I'd wear my time in Yiwu night or day.

So we enter the bar and Dave and Shirley introduce me to a couple of people, one even an American. They all seem like old friends and start to relax since business was done for the day. Well I'm wearing a bandanna and dressed pretty well, multiple titanium earrings hanging from both ears and my tattoo's almost popping out of my shirt since I've recently started to take shape of something other than the fat-ass I was when I boarded the plane to China.

The bottle of....I don't know what it was but it was gone.  It was like 80 RMB ($11.67 US). So because up to this point dave has not allowed me to pay for anything. He even paid for my hotel rooms and made sure I got a full refund from the other hotel I had initially planned to spend my 2 weeks in China at.

So without saying anything I work my way to the bar to order another bottle of Chinese liquor. Wasn't bad, wasn't something I'd order again but it did it's job. 

When I left Dave saw because that fucker sees everything.  He tells the personal waitress we're assigned at our table that I'm a rock star from the United States and I'm visiting China and Yiwu.  This information was as if the building was told someone inside was radioactive.  Everyone started talking to everyone and before I'm able to come back to the table with the new bottle EVERYONE is staring at me, smiling and cheering. 

So of course I'm like...what the fuck?! and I look over the sea of heads and I see Dave, Shirley and their 3 friends laughing their asses off.  The crowd is trying to direct me someplace but I keep pointing to the bottle and another waitress take it from me and brings it over to our table.

They start laughing harder. I see fucking tears....

Seeing how Dave fucks with the taxi drivers I knew he'd done/said something. I started to put it together when they all made "devil horns" with their hands their faces red with color while laughing uncontrollably.

This stage was awesome. It had a teleprompter like you see politicians speaking from where it's like invisible glass and only readable on one side. There is professional lighting and two technicians that control every movement, effect and special effects. The mic and stand were solid and completely wireless.  It's basically me, the mic/stand and this near invisible glass that you can select what song you choose to pick.

Now I didn't know the story Dave told them but I knew he told them something so they'd force me up center stage. Someone selected English for me and going through the seemingly endless catalogue of artists I'm only at the C's and everyone is getting more and more excited.  Again, people that think things don't exist in China they're wrong. They had everything heard in America and I presume the rest of the world.  Then I saw it...Creed.  Just about the only band I think I can come close to sounding like and at this point I'm feeling fucking fantastic so I select creed, their first album and click play on "My own Prison."

(Which the album is where I got the inspiration for the tattoo I gave myself over my heart)
 #followtheuniverse

I haven't a fucking clue how I sounded, if I was beledgerant or people were just in "awe" to see an American singing in "their bar." But the entire building, every floor was looking down at me and going fucking ape shit. The people seated at the bar tops on the same floor were now standing and smooched in with a full-on crowd cheering me on.

By the time the song ended they went ECSTATIC. Dave, Shirley and their friends were all screaming and hooting/hollering in cheers.  After that we weren't left alone for the rest of the night.  The bar even stayed open to 4:00 AM despite like NY alcohol sales stop at 2:00 AM.  I had people asking me for autographs, I took hundreds of pictures, probably thousands taken of me. We didn't pay for a drink the rest of the night.

We had bottle service of some shit that was $3700.00 a bottle US just rolling in because I took a picture with some guys.  It was fucking awesome. Somehow we managed to scrape ourselves from our booth, flag down a taxi and make it back to our hotel in once piece.